“I Am Spent”
“I am spent. I am spent and I have nothing left to give.” Those words are heartbreaking. It is impossible to move on when others continue to rub your face in the mire. Is it possible that we do that?
The classic parable of the two brothers is real. The younger brother goes to his father and in essence says, “I wish you were dead.” He did not have the right to what he asked. “Give me my …” He said it was his, but it wasn’t. His father paid the price and gave his son what he requested. The son went and wasted all he had with fun, pleasure and living life without boundaries. At last, he found himself without friends. He found himself eating with pigs. It was a “come-to-Jesus” moment. He recalled his father’s house and how great it really was. He said, “I am going home.” I am going back to my father’s house. Even the servants have it good. His father is looking for him and sees him. The father runs and meets him. He gives his son special attention and welcomes him back in his home.
On the other hand, the older brother stayed home, worked in the field, and served his father. As he approaches the house, from the field, he hears the noise taking place. As he gets closer, he sees it is the father giving his wasteful brother a party and welcoming him back home. He is incredulous. He said to his father, “You never did that for me.” He refused to accept his brother back. He failed to see his father’s heart and his joy for having his lost son return. In the end, he was the one lost. He was home, had it all, but lost it all.
There is no excusing what the prodigal son did. What he said and did to his father was wrong. But the response of the older brother was wrong, too. Which one usually gets the most attention? Isn’t it the prodigal son? But notice how the father treated his lost son. He rejoiced that he came home. Question: why wouldn’t we rejoice when a lost soul is restored to the Lord? The father simply received his son. On the other hand, the older son was having nothing to do with him.
Paul told the Corinthians to deliver the man in their midst who was living immorally to Satan for his soul’s sake. They were to separate themselves from him. Evidently, the man repented and began trying to live a righteous life. But the Corinthians kept their foot on the man’s throat (2 Cor. 2:6-7). Rather than forgiving and comforting the man, they increased his sorrow.
Sadly, the attitude and the behavior of the older brother and the Corinthians that would not allow the forgiven man to move forward, happen all too often today. Why? Why would we as God’s people keep our foot on the throat of one who has tried to repent and turn to God/ So heavy is the foot that the cry goes out, “’I am spent. I am spent and have nothing left to give.” If I am the person who is causing the restored one much sorrow, who am I acting like? Am I not acting like the older brother?
Sin is ugly. But sin is not only immorality or wasteful living. It is also increasing the sorrow of the person who is trying hard to put their life back together again. When a person has found themselves in the wasteful pen with pigs, far away from the Father, we should do all we possibly can to make sure that one is welcomed back to the Father’s fellowship home.
We should not be guilty of causing the cry of “I am spent. I am spent and I have nothing left to give.” We should help the one restored to cry, “I am home. I am home and I am welcomed by the Father.”