A Home, Not A Roof
In our marriages we want a home, not a roof. I wonder how many simply live under the same roof without sharing a home. What makes a home?
One said, “A home is the one place we will always be surrounded by those who love us.” Love your neighbor as yourself fulfills the royal law. Husbands love your wife as you love yourself. Then we will nourish and cherish her. Caring love has been called grace love. It is love that is undeserved but freely given to provide what is needed. It is love that looks out for the welfare of the other. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son…” (John 3:16). It is proven by action and measured by sacrifice. It is love that is fulfilling and demonstrates itself by how much we are willing to sacrifice for our mates. Husbands, do we love her enough to die for her? Christ died for us. Husbands, do we love her enough to lay aside our desires for satisfying hers? Wives, do you have enough reverence for your husband to follow where he leads? This love does the other good not evil all the days of our married life.
A home is filled with mutual consideration. It is always putting the other first. My wants, dreams, wishes, and desires are second to hers. We live to fulfill each other. Mutual consideration demands we deny self. Selfishness is the bane of marriages and homes. Love does not seek its own. If we deny ourselves and devote ourselves to pleasing our mates, we will get more in return that we ever imagined. I know that because when God gave His son, He gave what was needed and received more than if He had selfishly kept Him to Himself. The riches of His inheritance are in His people (Eph. 1:18).
A home is a home when we share mutual affection. There was something in the beginning of our relationships that moved us to like the other. There was something pleasing about the other person. What was that for you? Remember it! Never let it grow stale. I am afraid that life chokes the affection out of our marriages and homes. We get so consumed with everything else rather than continually nurturing that affection that makes the years seem light. Jacob labored for fourteen years for Rachel because he loved her. That is, he liked her because she was beautiful. Homes become a roof because we stop liking one another and showing affection.
A home is a home when God is always present and number one. Nothing comes between our home and God. Not another person. Not the job. Not the hobbies. Not even the kids. God is feared and God is respected. The first and last question is, are we doing all things always to please our Father? If everyone in the home is growing closer to God, they grow closer together. Homes become a roof when we stop growing closer to God. We make that choice. We get to choose whether we live under a roof together or make a home together. Growing closer to God assures that it will be a home.