Articles
"I'm Right"
We all like to think ourselves right, no matter the issues. We all have a high regard for ourselves and like to be fine and unselfish in our own estimation. J. Pierpont Morgan said, “A person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one. We will think of the real one. Nobody needs to emphasize that to us. But all of us have an idealistic side. We like to think our motives sound good.”
If that observation is correct, then how can that help us solve difficult problems with each other? Would it not be helpful to appeal to a person’s higher and more noble motive? How many times are we quick to jump on, “I know why they did that.” What would happen if we stopped and considered a more noble motive?
Criticism only helps the critic. Even so-called constructive criticism is often to salve the critic. How would our relationships be helped if we appealed to a more noble motive? For example, the appeal of love and respect for each other. Didn’t the Lord say something about that? “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matt. 7:12). The Lord’s appeal is to the other man’s need, not our want. It is an appeal of grace. An appeal that considers, when I act or speak, the motive to provide what you need.
Think about that. How would that help marriages? What if we supplied what our mate needed, not what we wanted? Would our mate understand that we are there for their good, not their harm? What if instead of criticizing the next time, we appeal to a higher motive? What if we gave the other person the benefit of the doubt? What if we appealed through respect and love for one another? If we did that, every marriage and family counsellor would be out of business tomorrow.
Again, consider this in our relationship with one another as brethren. More relationships have been ruined because of evil surmisings than disagreements over matters of truth. Before we tell the other person we know why he or she acted as they have, what if we considered them above ourselves? What if we took the lead in putting them first (Rom. 12:10)? Instead of flying off the handle, why not let the slight or perceived insult lay on the table for a week and think it over. Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction. What if, rather than surmising the other persons motives, we attribute to them honor? What if we first went the second mile?
All of us want to look good before others. What if we actually helped the other person look good rather than elevating ourselves because we put them down? In the end it does not matter if I am right and the other person is wrong. What matters is: have I pleased the Lord. When I seek to please Him in all things always, my motives and my estimation of myself and others will be true.
Rickie
